When I read about the horrific accident involving the Humboldt Broncos just two weeks ago, I was overcome. My children take a bus to school, my son plays hockey; we drive around Southwestern Ontario in the winter to take my daughter to gymnastics competitions. Those families are my family.
The pain felt very real. I could not turn away from the unfolding stories of the lives of those impacted. I felt an obligation to learn about each victim so that I could pay tribute in my heart and mind. The grief was hard to bear even from such a great distance.
I turned my attention instead to the Go Fund Me page. I became fixated on watching the donations roll in. Seeing how people from across our country and across the world were expressing their compassion in the only way they felt they could in that moment. Each dollar represented an expression of love and kindness. This shift from dark to light helped me to see that even in the midst of the greatest tragedy that a parent can face, there is love, hope, and light.
As a teenager, I worked at a camp for children with cancer. By the time I was 20 I had attended over a dozen funerals for young friends and campers. Seeking a way to reconcile living with the death I was witnessing, I clung to a law of physics that gave me great comfort. It states that energy cannot be created or destroyed it can only be transferred or transformed.
When I thought about this in the context of our physical bodies, it was very easy to reconcile. Our bodies return to the earth or are transformed into heat, fire, and ashes. But we are so much more than our bodies. I realized then that who we are, our spirit, soul, personality (however you want to describe it) is also energy. That energy is, upon our death, transferred and transformed – it cannot be destroyed. This realization helped me to see that I could continue to experience the energy of those that I have lost, just not in the same way that I had before.
With the devastating loss of lives in Humboldt we can see the transfer and transformation of their energy. Each one of those 16 individuals lived lives filled with passion, persistence, love . . . ENERGY. I can see that energy spread now across our country and beyond. I see that energy in each dollar raised, in each sticker placed on a helmet, in each green and gold quilt stitched. It is impressive. I know that for the families and friends of the victims this does not begin to touch their pain. However, I hope that these acts of kindness, love, compassion, this light in such darkness, will give them the strength they need to find new ways of experiencing the energy of their loved one.